I originally intended for the last post (which I just posted a few minutes ago) to be a list of things I like and things I dislike about living in Japan, but obviously it turned into something else because I really had a lot to say about one point. Since that post was rather negative, I'd like to give you all a more balanced view of life here. So here's the post I meant to write.
Things I like about Japan:
-Japan has four seasons. The seasons here are very distinct, so you can really enjoy the good things about all of them. Spring is beautiful with the cherry blossoms and other flowers blooming, summer is hot and balmy and there are festivals and firework shows, in fall the leaves change colors and crowds of people flock to famous "leaf-viewing" spots to appreciate their beauty, and winter is cold and crisp and everyone bundles up in warm coats and scarves and drinks hot tea. Japanese people really know how to appreciate the changes in the seasons. Everyone knows what fruits and vegetables are in season different times of the year, and every season has its own events that really help create the atmosphere.
-Japanese food is healthy and delicious. Unfortunately my current lifestyle doesn't allow me to eat as much Japanese food as I'd really like to, but it is really good.
-You can buy (almost) anything you want here. People moving to a foreign country usually worry about not being able to buy certain things there, but in Japan you shouldn't have much of a problem. Certain things may be harder to find than others, but if you know where to go you can easily get any food item you want from just about anywhere. Tokyo also has pretty much every kind of restaurant you can imagine. If you want to try the cuisine of some exotic country, chances are you can try it in Tokyo. There are no problems with toiletries and things like that either. The only thing that might inconvenience some Westerners is that things might not come in a big enough size (in my case, I can't get shoes in my size, as I'll mention in my "dislike" list.)
-It's very convenient. There's a convenience store every few blocks, and they're open 24 hours. Most of them have ATMs and you can do things like pay your bills there, and buy food items like rice balls wrapped in seaweed that tastes like plastic. (Okay, so convenience store food doesn't taste very good, but it is convenient.) Public transportation is excellent, very frequent and always on time (unless the weather is bad or there's an accident). And as I mentioned above, you can buy just about anything. I should add that all this applies mostly to living in or near a city, though, and more rural areas are obviously less convenient. (In Gunma, where I lived before, the public transportation isn't that good and most people drive cars.)
-People are very polite, and customer service is excellent. Okay, maybe I should change this to "People (except teenage delinquents and bratty children) are very polite." Some of the high school girls I teach are incredibly rude. Obviously there are rude people everywhere to some extent, but it is true that Japanese people in general are very polite. And customer service really is amazing-- employees always address you very respectfully and thank you for your business, and they'll go out of their way to make sure you're satisfied.
-People keep to themselves. This is a good thing for me personally, though it might be more of a bad thing for you if you're a very outgoing person. I'm very quiet and reserved by nature, so it's difficult for me to fit in to American culture where you're expected to be friendly and talkative. Here, people never tell me I'm too quiet or think I'm rude because I don't talk enough. I fit in just the way I am, so it's a lot easier for me.
-There's a very strong sense that you should appreciate what you have, and people never fail to say "thank you." This is one of the things I love most about Japan. Whenever they're about to eat or drink something received from someone else, people always say "itadakimasu"-- which means something like "I humbly receive this food". People always notice when you do something for them, and they go out of their way to thank you-- usually more than once. This spirit of appreciation is something I think people of other cultures could learn from. On the flipside, though, it can be difficult because people do expect you to be thankful in return. A couple of times I have ended up offending people because they felt I didn't seem thankful enough. Even if you think you're a thankful person, you really have to go the extra mile to show it here.
-Modesty and humility is highly valued. In the Japanese mind, if something goes wrong, everyone involved is responsible. People don't point fingers, because everyone apologizes first. And people really know how to apologize-- they bow deeply and apologize several times. This isn't seen as weak, but as the right thing to do. And if you apologize, you'll pretty much always be forgiven. People also never brag, and tend to downplay themselves and their abilities. One thing that may be shocking to Westerners, though, is that parents sometimes say negative things about their children (i.e. "My son is a terrible student.") This is because people think of their family members as parts of themselves, rather than separate individuals. So bragging about your kids would be like bragging about yourself.
-It's clean. You see very little garbage strewn about the streets, because people take it home and throw it away. They also clean up after their dogs when taking them on walks, so you don't have to worry about stepping in doggie doo here. This is definitely a good thing.
-It's safe. Of course, crime does happen here, and you should always use common sense no matter how safe you think someplace is. But I feel safer here than I've ever felt anywhere. What really amazes me is that things almost never get stolen. You can leave your purse sitting out in the open somewhere and return to find it right where you left it (or someone will turn it in to the police for you). Not that I'd recommend leaving your purse somewhere, but I actually see people doing this all the time (i.e. going alone to a restaurant or cafe and leaving their purse while they go to the bathroom, etc). You also see small children running around in public places like train stations, far off from their parents. In the US people would consider this extremely irresponsible parenting, but no one seems to have a problem with it here-- because it really is quite safe.
-You don't need to drive a car (at least not in the city). A good thing for me, because I don't like driving, and owning a car is a lot of responsibility. It's better for the environment, too.
Things I dislike about Japan:
-People work too much (see previous post).
-People keep to themselves a little too much. In contrast to the fact that my reserved nature fits in here, it is sometimes a bit lonely because people won't talk to you unless they really have a reason to. It's extremely rare to have a friendly conversation with a stranger on the train, for example. (It's happened to me like... twice. And I've ridden the train a bazillion times.) So it can be difficult to make friends here because people generally won't reach out and try to befriend you. You have to be in a situation in which you necessarily end up talking to someone, and then, if you have the chance to interact with that person regularly, you might be able to develop a friendship. A lot of single people here are lonely because of this-- especially in the Tokyo area. (I get the impression that people tend to be a little more friendly in other areas like Kansai, though I can't say much on this because I've only visited there briefly.) Sadly, a lot of people here commit suicide because of overworking and because of loneliness.
-If you don't look Japanese, you'll always be a foreigner. I may act Japanese, but I certainly don't look it-- I have red hair, green eyes and very pale skin. Even so, there are a lot of foreigners here, especially in the city, and most people treat me just like anyone else. Those who get to know me usually realize that I'm not a "typical foreigner" and do treat me accordingly. (People who get to know me also usually joke that I must actually be Japanese.) Once in a while, though, there's a random stranger who uses gestures when talking to me, as if I can't understand, or who immediately addresses me in English. And yes, some people do stare. Such people are relatively rare here though (they're more common in China and Taiwan), so for the most part I feel very accepted and it's really not a big issue.
-I can't buy shoes here. For women, the largest size they have here is a US size 8. I'm a size 9, so I'm out of luck. It's impossible for me to buy shoes anywhere, unless I go to a specialty store for people with larger feet (I hear there are some stores like this in Tokyo, though I've never gone to one). It's unfortunate too, because I love shoes and there are a lot of cute ones here. But anyway, it's just a minor inconvenience-- I just buy my shoes whenever I go back to the states. And fortunately I'm relatively small everywhere else, so I have no problem buying other clothing items here. (I hear a lot of other Westerners do have trouble though.)
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There are probably more things in both categories that I'm not thinking of, but as you can see, the good things do outweigh the bad. =) Japan is a lovely place, and I wouldn't discourage anyone from visiting or coming to live here for a while. Much of my life up until now has been devoted to this country and its language, and it's not something I regret at all.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Work is Life
Obviously, I like Japan. I wouldn't have stayed here as long as I have otherwise. But after you've lived in a place for a while, you really start to see it for what it is. You get a more balanced view-- you see both the good and the bad. Because as I'm sure you all know, no place is perfect. No situation is perfect. Life is hard, no matter where you choose to spend it. Recently, though, I've been feeling more frustrated by the negative things, rather than reveling in the positive. So I thought it might help to write about it.
The big thing that's been driving me crazy lately is this:
In Japan, Work is Life.
I'm not exaggerating. This concept is a huge part of Japanese culture, and it's something people have instilled in them from childhood. For Japanese children, Studying is Life. Many elementary school children have extra lessons after school every day (English lessons, piano lessons, etc.), after which they go home to continue studying until bedtime. Unlike American children, Japanese children usually don't do chores around the house because they're expected to devote themselves entirely to studying (they do have to clean their classrooms at school, though). And they study so much that they're often very stressed and have little time to play with friends. (I taught some kids like this at the private English school I used to work at. There was one particularly education-crazed grandfather who brought his two grandsons in several times a week. They had lessons in other subjects, too. The poor kids were exhausted.) In junior high and high school, many students participate in club activities after school until the evening, after which they study until late at night and go to school again early the next morning. In university things are a little more relaxed... But then they graduate and get jobs, and the madness starts again. It's not uncommon for businessmen here to be at work at 7:00 in the morning and stay until 8:00, 9:00, or even 10:00 in the evening. They don't take much time off, either. One of my former adult students (a doctor) once told me he felt a vacation was a waste of time if he didn't get some work done during it. And it seems like this attitude is pretty common. School children are given quite a bit of homework to do during vacations, and often go to school for club activities and/or extra studying during vacations and on weekends. I guess this trains them never to take a real vacation even as adults. (To me, a "real vacation" means one during which you don't work. At all. But such a concept seems scandalous to a lot of Japanese people.)
To an extent, it is a good thing to take pride in your work and to put your best effort into what you do. But in my opinion, a lot of people here take this virtue way too far. At my previous job (teaching at a small, private English school in a rural area) it didn't affect me that much personally. I did see its effects on a lot of my students, which was difficult to watch sometimes. But my own hours were quite reasonable, I always had weekends off, and though I didn't get as much vacation time as I would have liked, I never had any work to do during it. I didn't have to stay at the school all day, either-- I could leave whenever I didn't have a class to teach. (It probably helped that the school was owned by an American, who happened to be a rather lax individual.) At my current job, though-- teaching at a girls' high school in a bigger city near Tokyo-- it's affecting me a lot more, and it's been the source of a lot of stress for me recently. My job involves a lot more than just teaching English classes. I'm treated just like a member of the regular teaching staff, which means I have the same responsibilities as the Japanese teachers. I have to help with various school activities and events, and to help students study before and after school. So I sometimes have to go very early in the morning, and sometimes have to stay until around 6:00 pm. Most days I'm able to go home around 4:30, so maybe I shouldn't be complaining-- my situation isn't nearly as bad as a lot of people's. (It's not as bad as a lot of the other teachers I work with either. A lot of them stay late every day.) And it's not like I really hate my job-- the people I work with are wonderful, and teaching can be a really rewarding thing to do. But recently there have been more long days, more extra jobs to do, more days I've had to go in on a Saturday or a Sunday. And it's really tough for me. Because there are so many different things I love, I can't devote myself to just one thing. Having to do so makes me extremely unhappy. It makes me feel trapped-- like I'm going to suffocate if I can't escape. It's impossible for me to make work my life, because there's no job in which I can do all the things I love to do.
There are many ways in which I am very, very Japanese, and overall I do feel like my personality is much more Japanese than American (I don't fit into American culture at all). But there are some ways in which I don't really fit in here either, and this is one of them. It is true that I don't have to adopt the Japanese work ethic just because I live here. I am pretty much stuck with my current job until the end of March, and it's looking like it's going to be pretty tough for the next month or so... But after that I could make a lifestyle change and make more time to do what I want while still living here. The concept is still soaked into the culture, though, and you can't really escape it completely. The sea of stony-faced people in business suits packed into the trains every morning is really rather depressing to see. (Seriously, all these people look miserable. I probably don't look so hot either.) And even if I worked free-lance, or just had a couple of part-time jobs, there would still be certain expectations. Everybody expects you to take your work very seriously. Going above and beyond is not the exception-- it's the rule. Also, if I continue to live here, the possibility is rather high (for obvious reasons) that I'll end up marrying a Japanese guy. It's likely that my husband would have to work long hours and wouldn't have much time to spend with me (or our children if we had any). If I had children, I would certainly do my best to teach them that there's more to life than work, and that they should do what they love to do, take good care of themselves and be happy. But if they grew up here, they would probably go to Japanese schools, and they would still be influenced by the expectations of the society around them. I'd want them to have plenty of time to play and just be kids, but what if all their friends were busy studying all the time?
Yes, this is just one negative thing, of course no place is perfect, and of course there are lots of good things about Japan too. But this extreme work ethic thing has really been weighing on me lately, and it's making me feel like I really want to get out of this country.
I'm sorry if this post is depressing, but I needed to get it off my chest. It's also why I haven't been updating much, by the way-- work has been rather demanding. Today, though, I fortunately had the day off (it's some random national holiday-- "Physical Education Day", I believe), and I do feel quite a bit better after getting lots of sleep, doing nothing involving work and then writing this post. =) I'll try to write something more uplifting next time!
The big thing that's been driving me crazy lately is this:
In Japan, Work is Life.
I'm not exaggerating. This concept is a huge part of Japanese culture, and it's something people have instilled in them from childhood. For Japanese children, Studying is Life. Many elementary school children have extra lessons after school every day (English lessons, piano lessons, etc.), after which they go home to continue studying until bedtime. Unlike American children, Japanese children usually don't do chores around the house because they're expected to devote themselves entirely to studying (they do have to clean their classrooms at school, though). And they study so much that they're often very stressed and have little time to play with friends. (I taught some kids like this at the private English school I used to work at. There was one particularly education-crazed grandfather who brought his two grandsons in several times a week. They had lessons in other subjects, too. The poor kids were exhausted.) In junior high and high school, many students participate in club activities after school until the evening, after which they study until late at night and go to school again early the next morning. In university things are a little more relaxed... But then they graduate and get jobs, and the madness starts again. It's not uncommon for businessmen here to be at work at 7:00 in the morning and stay until 8:00, 9:00, or even 10:00 in the evening. They don't take much time off, either. One of my former adult students (a doctor) once told me he felt a vacation was a waste of time if he didn't get some work done during it. And it seems like this attitude is pretty common. School children are given quite a bit of homework to do during vacations, and often go to school for club activities and/or extra studying during vacations and on weekends. I guess this trains them never to take a real vacation even as adults. (To me, a "real vacation" means one during which you don't work. At all. But such a concept seems scandalous to a lot of Japanese people.)
To an extent, it is a good thing to take pride in your work and to put your best effort into what you do. But in my opinion, a lot of people here take this virtue way too far. At my previous job (teaching at a small, private English school in a rural area) it didn't affect me that much personally. I did see its effects on a lot of my students, which was difficult to watch sometimes. But my own hours were quite reasonable, I always had weekends off, and though I didn't get as much vacation time as I would have liked, I never had any work to do during it. I didn't have to stay at the school all day, either-- I could leave whenever I didn't have a class to teach. (It probably helped that the school was owned by an American, who happened to be a rather lax individual.) At my current job, though-- teaching at a girls' high school in a bigger city near Tokyo-- it's affecting me a lot more, and it's been the source of a lot of stress for me recently. My job involves a lot more than just teaching English classes. I'm treated just like a member of the regular teaching staff, which means I have the same responsibilities as the Japanese teachers. I have to help with various school activities and events, and to help students study before and after school. So I sometimes have to go very early in the morning, and sometimes have to stay until around 6:00 pm. Most days I'm able to go home around 4:30, so maybe I shouldn't be complaining-- my situation isn't nearly as bad as a lot of people's. (It's not as bad as a lot of the other teachers I work with either. A lot of them stay late every day.) And it's not like I really hate my job-- the people I work with are wonderful, and teaching can be a really rewarding thing to do. But recently there have been more long days, more extra jobs to do, more days I've had to go in on a Saturday or a Sunday. And it's really tough for me. Because there are so many different things I love, I can't devote myself to just one thing. Having to do so makes me extremely unhappy. It makes me feel trapped-- like I'm going to suffocate if I can't escape. It's impossible for me to make work my life, because there's no job in which I can do all the things I love to do.
There are many ways in which I am very, very Japanese, and overall I do feel like my personality is much more Japanese than American (I don't fit into American culture at all). But there are some ways in which I don't really fit in here either, and this is one of them. It is true that I don't have to adopt the Japanese work ethic just because I live here. I am pretty much stuck with my current job until the end of March, and it's looking like it's going to be pretty tough for the next month or so... But after that I could make a lifestyle change and make more time to do what I want while still living here. The concept is still soaked into the culture, though, and you can't really escape it completely. The sea of stony-faced people in business suits packed into the trains every morning is really rather depressing to see. (Seriously, all these people look miserable. I probably don't look so hot either.) And even if I worked free-lance, or just had a couple of part-time jobs, there would still be certain expectations. Everybody expects you to take your work very seriously. Going above and beyond is not the exception-- it's the rule. Also, if I continue to live here, the possibility is rather high (for obvious reasons) that I'll end up marrying a Japanese guy. It's likely that my husband would have to work long hours and wouldn't have much time to spend with me (or our children if we had any). If I had children, I would certainly do my best to teach them that there's more to life than work, and that they should do what they love to do, take good care of themselves and be happy. But if they grew up here, they would probably go to Japanese schools, and they would still be influenced by the expectations of the society around them. I'd want them to have plenty of time to play and just be kids, but what if all their friends were busy studying all the time?
Yes, this is just one negative thing, of course no place is perfect, and of course there are lots of good things about Japan too. But this extreme work ethic thing has really been weighing on me lately, and it's making me feel like I really want to get out of this country.
I'm sorry if this post is depressing, but I needed to get it off my chest. It's also why I haven't been updating much, by the way-- work has been rather demanding. Today, though, I fortunately had the day off (it's some random national holiday-- "Physical Education Day", I believe), and I do feel quite a bit better after getting lots of sleep, doing nothing involving work and then writing this post. =) I'll try to write something more uplifting next time!
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